Mars and Venus? No. Warrior and Nurturing!
Women who act primarily out of Nurturing Instinct
will be instinctively attracted
to men who act primarily out of Warrior Instinct.
These two are the ideal mates
to produce the healthiest offspring.
This attraction is a biological drive
to insure the survival of the species.
It is not a conscious or logical choice
made by the people involved.
It is instinctive behavior.
These couples account for approximately half of all marriages.
But, they also account for most of the divorces.
Our Warrior Instinct makes us think in terms of right and wrong.
Our Nurturing Instinct makes us think in terms of good and bad.
But right and wrong are not the same as good and bad.
Good and bad can change with new information.
But right and wrong never change, even in the face of overwhelming evidence.
Those of us acting primarily out of Warrior Instinct will go to our graves believing we are right.
And our partners, who are acting out of Nurturing Instinct, will shame us for our beliefs, killing the intimacy level between us, and ultimately killing the relationship.
Both Warrior and Nurturing Instincts make us believe in absolutes:
all, always, none, never, ever, only and every.
And so, our conversations revolve around statements like:
"So you're saying that all ---------- are wrong?" And, "Well I don't believe that every ---------- is good!"
Our instincts are arguing. We are just along for the ride.
Our Nurturing Instinct motivates us out of the best of intentions:
we just want you to be all right, and to fix your problem.
Our Warrior Instinct motivates us out of a strong belief that we know the right thing to do in any situation.
Which is why we both may be confused and feel hurt, when the other one doesn't take our advice.
Neither of us sees the difference between ADVICE and SUPPORT.
Neither one of us will instinctively try to support you in finding your own answers.
We will tell you straight out what to do.
And if you question us, we will look blankly at you and say: I'm only trying to help!!
And so, there we both stand, hurt, insulted, and confused, with nothing but the best of intentions.
At that point we may truly believe that men and women are from different planets.